In China
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Wednesday, November 12, 2008 TWO STEPS FORWARD AND ONE STEP BACK I apologize for being behind on my posting but Max is way off of his schedule and is waking up between 4 and 4:30 every morning ready and raring to get up and start his day. Our days have been FULL and we are carrying both kiddos everywhere for Vivi’s bonding and to reassure Max that Mama and Dada are still going to give him the attention that he has become accustomed to. They didn’t get a nap today because we had an appointment at the police station to get Vivi Jo’s Chinese passport, while they nap is when I try to work on a post. I tried working on this post but I fell asleep at the computer, so I gave up and went on to bed. I am going to try hard to get caught up and stay caught up. We need your prayers. Both kids are napping right now and I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face, Yesterday was a good day and Vivi seemed to be doing better. She woke up this morning and she would have NOTHING to do with me at all. If I touch her she jerks away. When I tell her I love her in Chinese she shakes her head NO. The only person she will let take care of her is her Baba. Paul and I decided that at mealtime, I will be the one that fills her plate and gets her seconds from the buffet so she can see that I am meeting some of her needs, and Paul is doing the same for Max since I am the one that always carrying him around and not Paul because he is always carrying Vivi. I can act silly and make her smile but she tries so hard not to. My precious girl has been through so much. I am not telling you this because I feel sorry for myself, it is not at all about me, it is all about her and she is struggling inside. Why would she trust me, I am a female that wants a close relationship with her and wants to give her love, I was told that she was closest to her foster mom and our guide said that he thinks she may have a close attachment to a nanny at the orphanage. Every female that she has ever gotten close to and loved has left her. She is old enough to understand that she is an orphan and for some reason does not have her biological mother. In time she will trust me and know I am here for her FOREVER but for now she is hurting inside. There are times that she will let her guard down and will actually seem like she is enjoying me and that is usually in the evenings at bath time. She will laugh and let me bathe her and have fun with her and all of a sudden she will realize she is letting me in and then she will close up and will no longer let me help her, talk to her, or even touch her. I am so thankful that we have valuable resources that will help us get through this when we get home, I have friends that have adopted that have gone through similar situations, and I thank them for sharing their struggles because I will be calling them for advice. We have a wonderful team of social workers, Rachael and Carol at Buckner that will be giving us valuable advice and direction but more than anything is prayer, I am asking for your prayer. God can mend this broken untrusting heart. I wish all the pictures told the story, because her smile absolutely lights a room and her giggle is music to my ears. I do also realize that it is only the third day and this has been very traumatic for her. She is so precious, I love everything about her! I am just so thankful that she is bonding with Paul. He is an amazing Daddy and I am so thankful for him, I am amazed at his wisdom! He has such a loving and gentle spirit! Today was a day that Vivi doesn’t know it now but will be very special to her in years to come. One day I took Max to the doctor and I was telling the nurse that we were adopting again and she said that a doctor in the same office was also adopting from China. It wasn’t ten minutes later and in walks Dr.Pierce. He told me that they were adopting a 5 year old little girl and as we visited we realized they were from the same province. They were expected to travel in September but guess what….we are all here in China, they left a week before us but we are both here this week. Isn’t it awesome how God orchestrated this for our girls!. God is so good! Dr.Pierce gave me his wife’s email address, I emailed Melinda and soon after met for lunch, we hit it off. I adore her and her sweet family and Max just loves their youngest son that is seven. When we realized that we would be traveling at the same time we decided to get the girls a matching outfit and hair bow and when they are older and are best friends it would be so special to them that they first met in China looking just alike. We had dinner outside at Lucy’s and they kids ran around and played after our meal. Max had a ball and Vivi even got down and played too she was very quiet and reserved most of the night. Dr. Pierce and his family left their shopping bags in our room because they are staying off the island, when we all came back to the hotel room for them to get their bags, we were able to see that Vivi felt at home and secure in our hotel room because the reserved and quiet Vivi Jo let loose and gave everyone hugs and was all smiles and giggles.

Shayle and Vivi Jo Sharing with Shayle A Red Couch photo with the Pierce family

After they left Max was really tired so Dada laid down with him and they both fell asleep while Vivi was coloring. There is another family here in China that I know from blogging, I needed to get in contact with her so I put Vivi’s pajamas on her and her sweet little ballet shoes that she loves and she went down stairs with me to get the phone number to the hotel that my friend is staying at. Vivi and I held hands and we skipped down the hall…I was in hog heaven! We laughed and she was so happy and joyful, we came back to the hotel room and it was like it suddenly dawned on her she was having fun with me and that she shouldn’t and all of a sudden she closed off. That special time that she we shared gave me so much encouragement. I think that it will just take time and she will love me and learn to trust me. Max is doing great. He is such a trooper. He has the sweetest and kindest heart! I kissed him and he told me I needed to kiss Vivi….thank goodness she was asleep and I was able to kiss her, otherwise right now she would have pushed me away and I wouldn’t want Max to see that. It will all get better. Please please pray! We love you all so much and I cannot tell you how much we love and appreciate your comments!! Paul, Kim, Max and Vivi Jo

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