Thursday,
November 13, 2008
Today has been a roller coaster day, this morning when Vivi Jo
woke up she was anti Mama, she would cut her eyes at me and had
such a little attitude, but it is just so cute. Is that terrible
for me to say that a not so good attitude is cute….I guess I am
saying she is so cute when she has such an attitude not the
attitude itself. I have a feeling she will be able to hold her
own in this new life she will soon have.
After breakfast we met my precious bloggy friend Sarah and her
sweet family at their hotel and we took the kiddos to play on
the playground. It was a HIT! Max and Vivi had so much fun and
Vivi let her guard down like she does at bath time, at first she
would only let Baba help her on the playground and soon Paul and
I switched and I was playing with Vivi and Paul with Max….how
did I ever do it with 3 all so close to the same ages. Miss Vivi
was open to me playing and helping her and we laughed and
laughed and played and ran. This mama’s heart was about to burst
with joy! We see-sawed together and I would chase her and she
was loving it! We stayed there a good long time and I can bet
you that we will be going back tomorrow for more good bonding
time :-). It wasn’t long after we left that she was closed off
to me again and would not let me touch her and anything I said
she would shake her head NO. I was really not discouraged
because I saw a lot of progress at the park and it just showed
me that through prayer and giving her time, she will break
through. My friends and family that know me well would be so
proud of me because they know how pushy I can be….LOL…I am not
pushing her, I am giving her the time she needs to heal. It is
not easy because I so want to fix this but I know I can’t. I
know and trust the Lord will fix it in His perfect timing. Both
of our sweet babies took a good long nap and woke up right
before dinner. Vivi still didn’t want anything to do with me at
this point but we had a delicious Chinese dinner and came back
to the hotel and I gave them both a bubble bath. Vivi was on
cloud nine and she let her guard down. I put extra bubbles and
you would think I was Mama of the year….she laughed and I sat
beside the tub and would wisk the water around to make the
bubbles bigger and she and Max had so much fun. I have never
heard a child laugh like her, she laughs so hard that it takes
her breathe. Just think about how big she smile can be and that
is her laugh…so BIG and she laughs so easily….I LOVE IT!!! She
let me lotion her and get her pajamas on and she was doing
really well for a little while. Suddenly she noticed the phone
and picked it up and started punching the buttons and she
started getting upset and soon started crying saying mama, mama,
mama, mama, with some Chinese words mixed in. There is a family
here in Guangzhou, that said their 7 year old daughter picked up
the phone and knew the number to her foster mom. I tried to
comfort her but I was not the one she wanted or needed right
then, so Paul took over. We went on to bed, I have been sleeping
between Max and Vivi and Dad on the other side of Max because
Max has been use to sleeping between the two of us and we wanted
to keep that the same way for him and from the first night I
just laid her on the other side of me and she that seemed to be
fine with her. Tonight Paul laid in my spot and I in his just
while they went to sleep. She cried herself to sleep and was
saying the same words over and over and over. Paul rubbed her
back and hair, he was giving her comfort through her grieving.
She is able to grieve and I am so thankful for that. I can’t
imagine if she was keeping it all in. She is healing, slowly but
she is healing and I am so thankful.
My precious and very wise daughter Britney shared with me that
it could also be that Vivi feels like if she allows me to be her
mama right now that she will be disloyal to the caregiver that
she was so close to. Please continue to pray. We can see her
slowly making progress in many areas. We were so proud of Vivi
Jo today because she took a few Cheerios out of her container
and gave them to Max and yesterday she gave one to Shayle (not
to happy about it, but she did it on her own when we ask her to
share with her). She is so possessive of her Cheerio container
and it’s contents, I think she has not had her own things before
and she can claim that as her own. She is still hoarding items
in it, there is no telling what you might find inside and then
she will eat right out of it with her collectables in there, but
if it gives her comfort then we are looking at what might have
gotten on the food as protein. :) That is the least of our
concerns right now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers…we are truly
feeling them and again thank you for your comments of
encouragement.
We love you all so much!
Paul, Kim, Max and Vivian
|
Our little monkey!
After bath giggles! |
